The phone rang at 4am like clockwork. I grabbed it, itching to tell Mom to stop being such a helicopter parent.
Then I heard music. She was at a party, and I was all alone in my dorm.
I wrote this in response to Trifecta‘s writing challenge, recommended to me by a magnificent writer, Scriptor Obscura. In this weekend challenge, writers are supposed to compose a 33 word story starting with the words: the phone rang at 4 am (these first 5 words are not included in the 33 word count).
It’s my first entry, so I know it’s not amazing, but my writing can only get better, right? 🙂
Btw, it is incredibly hard to narrow down a story to 33 words. At first, I saw the 33 words and laughed, thinking how easy it would be. Now I have been thoroughly taught my lesson, and I know that one of the hardest thing in writing is cutting down your word count.
poetrybytheclueless 
Hah! I loved this story. Such a great twist at the end. Really well done! 🙂 But seriously, what kind of mom calls every day at 4 AM??? Isn’t that a rather odd time for a mom to be calling??? I love the irony in this piece. And thank you so very much for the kind words and the mention here on your blog, I really appreciate it. That is so nice of you to do. Thank you so much! You should come back and enter their regular weekly challenge too! I think you would really enjoy that one as well. Looking forward to seeing more writing from you! 🙂
Thanks! Haha well hopefully not my mom, but I know some of my friends have parents who have no sense of time and will call whenever they feel the slightest bit worried or afraid of what is happening in their child’s life.
I think I will come back! This was really fun, even though it was challenging.
Nice twist to tie it all up in the end. I do like surprises.
Thanks!
LOL, maybe you should have named this piece “lesson learned”? 😉 Both for you realizing how tricky this 33-word this is, and for the kid learning that Mom is having more fun than her kid is.
I think you did a good job at this first attempt.
Came from the Trifextra linkup.
Haha I should have, that’s a good idea! And thanks 🙂
🙂 Really, good job. Hope to see you next week.
Done in by the butt dial.
Poor kid.
The butt dial is always the worst, especially when they leave you a long voice mail that you feel obligated to listen to.
I love the irony in this piece. Great writing!
Thank you!
Great first lines for a longer story. How it is to have an alcoholic mom who of course has no idea of time.
That actually wasn’t my intention at all, but I guess everyone has their own interpretations 🙂
Thanks so much for linking up to Trifextra. Remember, this weekend’s entries are being judged by the Trifecta community, so make sure you visit the site at the close of the challenge to vote. Our linking service will not allow you to vote for a link from the same computer where it was submitted, so plan ahead! Voting closes 12 hours after the close of the challenge. Winners will be announced with the Monday post. Hope to see you back then.
Makes me wonder if the ‘she’ is the mother or the roomate.
Oh, sorry! The ‘she’ is supposed to be the mom. I should have made that clearer.
sometimes hard to do in 33 words, and the mystery was a pleasant one 🙂
Ha! How fun. I hope to be the partying mother calling my college kid one day too. Well done.
Hahaha! Jokes on child. Love the twist.
Very fun. I too love the idea that the bum call wakes her up. Bum calls. >.<
Love it! Very good. 🙂